Choices

I think maybe it’s nice when you’re young not to have too many choices.  I guess there’s another side to that.  If you’re stuck in a bad situation, you definitely want an out.  You don’t want kids to feel hopeless.  But they are anyway.  I mean, they’re lives are decided for them.  They can’t quit their families or their schools.  No one should ever feel like they don’t have any options. But choice, when there isn’t any problem to fix, is, or can be, an opportunity for regret.  What do kids know? How can they make the right choices?  It’s hard enough to pick a major when you’re in college.  What about when you commit to a certain path in life by choosing among high schools, or elementary schools.  I went to an Arts school, I chose it, and I don’t have regrets about that.  I am artsy.  Maybe it’s fine to have choices if you’re one of those kids who knows what she wants.  But I have let too many other people make choices for me.  And by that I mean I go with the flow, take the path of least resistance.  That’s it!  I’ve taken the path that I thought would give me the least angst (and was wrong).  If I didn’t want to explain why the path that felt right to me was different than what I thought they expected of me, then I would convince myself I wanted what I thought they wanted.

How often do you have an epiphany while writing a little 250 word blog post (actually I haven’t counted the words – and I’m not going to).

So, having had an epiphany, and whereas my life isn’t yet over – I’m still young, I may have implied otherwise in some pages here, but, I  am not old.  I may not have as much youth left as I once did, but I haven’t turned any corners, and anyway, it only matters what you feel about yourself, in your soul.  I’m young, today. We’re probably none of us actually young, or maybe we’re all so young  It depends on your perspective, cause there are facts we don’t know, how old is your soul for example?

I didn’t finish my sentence.  So having had an epiphany and whereas my life isn’t over, what can I do with that? There isn’t anyone I know that can say she hasn’t made a bad choice. This is the lot of being female.  Unfortunately.  Actually, I don’t know for sure and don’t really care whether anyone out there thinks she (or he) never made a mistake.  In the words from a movie I saw once that I can’t remember the name of, it was a martial arts film, sort of, “only the tea can judge itself.” But from my standpoint, I think you should acknowledge them and use them as stepping stones.  What else can you do with them?

I should end this post by telling you a story about a bad choice I made.  But I don’t want to.

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